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| [ninety-three] I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and he leaves for college in less than 2 months. We’ll be separated by 3.5 hours for weeks, maybe months at a time. It’s hard, not knowing what will happen. Not knowing if it’ll work, knowing there’s going to be some pain involved no matter what. I don’t know how to deal with that. I want to stay with him, but I’m not naïve. I know most long distance relationships don’t work out. How do you prepare yourself for that? I’m so, so scared. 
Maybe I know somewhere deep in
my soul that love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways
to make it alone or keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this
keeping a comfortable, distance.
And up until now I swore to myself
that I'm content with loneliness,
'cause none of it was ever worth the risk.
But you are the only exception.
-Paramore | | |
| Ninety-two. I think everyone comes to the realization sometime on this earth that there is no one completely perfect for them on this earth. Everyone has imperfections because we’re imperfect beings. And it’s so easy to use that as an excuse for ourselves whenever we mess up. “I’m not perfect.” And it’s all fine, but it’s so much easier to look at others in an even harsher light than view ourselves. They say so many of us girls are so hard on ourselves, our bodies, for whatever reason. But how much quicker are we to judge others, those closest to us, even those we love? Lyrics from “A Mirror is Harder to Hold,” By: Jon Foreman.
You could stay a while longer
We could stay up and talk about last summer
We could go down to the water
Watch the sunset going under
It's not that I'm a stranger to lonely moments
I've had my share of those
Please don't go
Please don't leave me alone
A mirror is so much harder to hold
I could try and point the finger
But the glass points in my direction
Sure you've got your sharp edges
But my wounds are from my own reflection
It's not that I'm a man who couldn't love you
I know what these arms are for
Please don't go, please don't leave me alone
A mirror is so much harder to hold
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| Ninety-one. "Outside the museum, a foil gum wrapper skates along the sidewalk on a surprise gust of wind. A herd of paper cups and soda straws rolls eastward to unison. Lucky Buster sits on the ramparts of the Hoover Dam, trying to figure out how to save the day. People will throw anything in the world on the ground, or even in the water. Like pennies. They end up down there with the catfish. There could be a million dollars at the bottom of the lake right now, but everybody thinks there’s just one red cent—the one they threw." -“Pigs in Heaven,” By: Barbara Kingsolver
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| This is Ninety.
I guess we’re all one phone call from our knees. -Mat Kearney
First, you would forget his chin, and then his nose, and after a while, you would struggle to remember the exact color of his eyes, and one day you wake up and, pfft, he's gone: his voice, his smell, his face. He will have left you. And then you can begin again. -French Kiss 
But it don't get much dumber, it don't get much dumber
Than trying to forget a girl when you love her. -Ok Go 
I trip fast and then I lose
And I hate looking like a fool
I just want your kiss, boy. -Kate Nash 
Happy – smile. Sad – frown. Use the corresponding face for the corresponding emotion. -French Kiss 
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| Eighty-nine. Tonight I was thinking about my boyfriend. And how I feel now, 3 months in, and I how I felt with my ex. I realized the difference with my ex is that I always felt he was going to hurt me. I felt like I was just waiting, always waiting, to be disappointed. Like I had to keep some part of myself inside of me for fear of if I let it out, I wouldn’t get it back. And up to a point, I did lose a part of myself in him. That incredible, naive, trust you have in your first… he so utterly shattered that. But my boyfriend now—nothing hurts, you know? I feel so safe, comfortable, happy, loved, cared for. It’s wonderful. And I hope to God every single one of you can find that in your life.
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